" I was constantly fumbling between establishing a sense of self and transforming into an impractical image of who I thought I should be "


"I saw the new calendar my dad had placed on the wall, hanging over the luminous screen of my Gateway computer. A Chinese calendar you could find off a street vendor in Taiwan, with gorgeous calligraphy of Chinese characters, glowing with gold on red radiance. It was a new start. It symbolized his wish for me to have a new start. A new start for all of us. I almost felt crying, like knowing that I blamed and accused my parents for the pain I had been feeling. And he was sorry. It felt like I had finally gotten that attention I had wanted...and now I needed to stop torturing everyone..."